Special dedication

I would like to dedicate this video to:
my dear connie, pinky & adrian, loong

Hey guys,

Thanks for giving so much!
Its mean alot to me...

Depression

serious depression :'(

I not feeling well...

its really very bad

its gonna kill me

11 - 12 - 2009 (Friday)

Lunch & movie with bef's gang

@ pyramid

I not really satisfy with the lunch

the restaurant not really nice

*i forget what's the name of the restaurant*

the tomato sauce sucks!

MY MOOD affected my appetite

*i guess so*

Later on we went for movie

ZOMBIE LAND

two words to describe the movie

*scary yet funny*

hehe :)

the Zombies are so disgusting

*scare scare*

After movie,

My dear connie came to meet & join us

I'm happy to meet her

so many things to talk to her

I just like her

mb because of 'yuan'

*whee*

3 of us bought the santa clause hat

nice nice ~~

plan to wear it and celebrate christmas together

we also decided to exchange christmas present

it's our first time

*excited*

I can't wait to celebrate together with you guys!

we went shopping

while we looking for poker chips

i spot something

argh!!

it's the model of the ship - thousand sunny & all the characters in one piece

it came in one whole set

damn nice & expensive

it costs RM120

but the people said out of stocks already

its very cute and nice

I like it... :)

I love one piece

I received a call

everything is happen so sudden

the news is really bad

I feel sorry to aaron!

My condolence to him

Hope everything is fine & ok for him

take care & be strong

It's make me think of my grandma

I miss her so much :/

The scene appear in my mind again

*full of regrets*

Since the plan at night had been cancel

then they decided to buy poker chips

and play together

again ~~ *hand itchy*

we went dinner together

@ Taipan

another restaurant for me to try

I don't know why i have no appetitie to eat

I feel full all the ways

*sighs*

I just don't know what happen on me again

already one week

think my sickness getting serious

i worried!!

my life is getting mess

I wish to have a healthy life

After dinner

it's poker time!!

but no shaun and the sheep

~~ hehe ~~

my phone keep ringing

parents rushing me home

haiz :(

i just don't like it

we play until 12am

i win RM23

*guess i got luck for today!*

Poker is really very interesting

*alots to learn*

able to gain skills & knowledge too

Reached home safely!

Thanks for adrian & loong sending me home

Nice outing again with u guys

There are More to go...

The DAY is SAVED

Thanks to

~ The Powepuff Girls ~

I'm sorry!

对不起！
我。。。
失去了自己
我。。。
要不回原有的蒨
我。。。
跌倒受伤了

对不起！
原谅
我的堕落
饶恕
我的软弱
包容
我的情绪
让我
得过且过

I feel the pain

受伤了
却没有把伤口好好的清理和治疗
就把伤口一层一层的覆盖着
不去理会它
日子一天一天的过去
原以为时间可以治疗一切
伤口会慢慢愈合
然而再次掀起的伤口
还是血淋淋地
一天比一天的更疼痛

Penang trip

This is the first time that i feel so rush for my trip

as i finish my last paper on the last day of exam

then i have my own party on that night

everything is kinda rush

i'm run out of time in preparing my stuff

the next day of party,

everyone in my house is busy

we were busy packing our stuff

*i feel guilty that i left my dad alone at home*

my elder sis had already confirm that she will go to germany & paris for training on saturday

my mum going back hometown on afternoon

and me gonna done my packing before 12pm and

alice pick me up at 12pm...

we went shopping after that

looking for present for arthur

& then attend his birthday party at night

- kinda emo for that day as my feeling for that day is so confused -

28 - 11 - 2009

Going penang ~~

we departure from KL around 11pm (kinda late)

today 3 of us (girls) are wearing red shirt & guys wearing black shirt

It can't be doubt that our privity is really very good!!

i enjoys the moments of having fun with u guys

its been a long time that I din have these fun conversations

& not many people i met able to talk like these

hehe~~

enjoys alots!!

The nights at penang were really fun

even though im tired & didn't sleep early

its ours poker time & shaun and the sheep

Now, i know how to play already but not pro yet..

I also drink for few nights... I feel ok with it

nice nice~~

Second day in penang

we woke up not that early

*guess this is the first time in my trip that i don't need to wake so early*

I had a very 'feng fu' breakfast!

3 of us ate chicken rice

the two girls who don't want to eat so much

then each of them give me half

OMG... i ate two rice for the first time!!

yet i able to swallow everything into my stomach! hehe

Feel so satisfy after so full :)

we went kek lok si after that...

the weather is damn hot

I sweat alots &

i feel like melting already

this is the first time i climb so high to visit the pagoda!

the view is nice...

*i pray hard to get through this sem*

hopefully my will will come true!

I found cute lollipop in one of the shop at kek lok si there

even though it is expensive but i decided to buy

its damn cute weh... 0_0

At night,

we went night market!

so many stuff over there

many of that is fake branded... haha

& also there are alots of cute stuff...

like it so much especially those fancy t-shirt

i bought some souvenir for my friends

- lemon ice blended with pearl -

its been a long time i din drink it... *since the day he leave*

3rd day in penang

to be continued...

*we'll always together*

*group pic*

dragon vs snake

*the big ship restaurant*

*babe sweeties in same outfits*

*memories that we create*

*remains forever*

*it's gonna be more & endless*

dear sweeties,

i will colour yours life with all i can

cheerish ya always!!

Happy dinner :)

06 - 12 - 2009

You guys make my day!

happy that met bak, aaron & rain

I'm happy to have such a nice dinner

* 3 in 1 steamboat *

which i long for many days ago

enjoys alots...

I feel satisfy and glad to have you all be with me

~ we have to stick together no matter what ~

*whee*

*bak become pro in cooking*

*he fried the meat for us*

*all the food*

nice nice :)

aaron busy eating all the food!!

after sometimes, we gather again...

such a nice moment!

i'll never walk alone

because i have you all being with me always

Thanks you :)

always with me

qian v lollipops

*little princess with her lollipop*


~ 21 lollipops are here ~


all my present :)

the sweetness of lollipop make me smiles!

am i deserve to get all the sweetness & happiness?

*lollipops taste sweet*

*colourful*

my heart is bitter & pain

lollipop is used to cover

the bitter & painful heart...

qianqian's 21st birthday celebration

my cake - chocolate indulgence

*didn't manage to eat the cake*

*big surprise*

i feel touched & tears ~~

*make a wish*

*im the princess of the day*

qianqian's family

qianqian's uncle & aunt & cousin

friends who always with me

*bef she*

*~ love ya always ~*

*qian v lollipops*

21 lollipops

The greatest birthday i ever had

You guys make my life colourful

& full with sweetness

just like the lollipops in my hands

Thank YOu

Memorable day

26 - 11 - 2009

The day i long for finally had come!
My feeling is full of mixture of happy excited and alot which
i can't put it in words..
Audit paper is still ok for me,
Im not really able to do it
but i just try my best to write whatever i can
Hope i can get through it...

After exam, i really don't have much time left
still got many stuff haven't do
i was running here and there to get things done
im tired but im happy with it..
hehe...
my party in few hours time..
can't wait for it anymore...

Im satisfied with the make up and the hair style tonight!
I like my hair with highlight in blue so much...
I'm late for my party...
sorry for keeping u guys waiting for me!

The big surprised really make me feel touched and happy.
I don't know what i can say to you guys besides thanks
I like it so much! my tears almost drop when i turn around and saw the scene
OMG! all this is what i want and you guys make it for me!
LOve youuuu alllllllll so much!!
Thanks my dear frens.............................................................

For those who really spend time to make it for me,
i really happy and wanna thanks to you all....
glad to have you all celebrate with me

Im extremely happy!!
enjoys and memorable :)
THanks my dear family and friends!

The day before my last paper & birthday party

25 - 11 - 2009

Finally left one more to go -->> audit

I left one day to study and yet im busy with my party stuff

I don't have enough time to prepare and study!

I spend my day on other stuff in stead of study...

end up, i can't finish study my audit

Thanks to hong that teach me last minutes and also ur support...

i really wish i can pass!

my nail is nice with those nail art do by my cousin's gf...

thanks to her! like her so much...

After tomorrow, i gotta enjoys my life till the fullest!

there are more plans waiting for me...

Look forward to it!

ICBM

23 - 11 - 2009 Monday

This is another nightmare for me
I don't know how to do and struggling in exam hall
all the part b questions i do not know
we are required to choose 3 out of 4 questions
at the end, i just manage to finish one question
and that question i got no confidence at all
the rest i just leave blank without answering it
as my mind was totally blank at that moment
This time really can die and fail miserably
i have to get at least 45% out of 100% in order to pass the subject
i wonder how i gonna pass the paper that i just did 56%!
pray hard to pass!
i almost cry after exam!
no mood to continue study for next paper...
i'm really exhausted...

Nightmare

16 & 17 /11/2009

That night is really a nightmare for me
which i dare not to think back again
I been suffering like hell for the whole night
THE really almost kill me
Im glad that everything is over now!
everything back to normal
i can sleep and eat like normal
i do not vomit again and again
I can see the blue sky, feel the wind, breathe the air
this is the first time i can smile right after exam
even though i didn't manage to do well
Just hope that i able to get through & do not need to repeat again

thanks to those who help me, accompany me, advice me, comfort me, encourage me....

I'm officially 21

10 - 11 - 2009

Finally i'm 21 years old
a change from a girl to young adult
Im glad to receive all the greetings and wishes last night
I feel good when my phone keep ringing
kinda happy to see it
I been waiting his name to appear on my phone screen
I was disappointed when things doesn't turn out as i expect
I didn't know that i expected so much from him!
*emo-ing & crying for the first time on my birthday*
Luckily, i got hong who brighten up my day..
Thanks for lending me your ears
Thanks to hong for his birthday song through phone call
I'm happy to receive all the birthday wishes through sms, facebook and call...
My facebook wall is full with all the wishes for the first time

* 10 - 11 - 2009 *

as normal as usual

the day which is full of wishes
but

I do not have nice lunch

I don't have family dinner

I just can

faced my laptop

stay on my bed for the whole night

&

being alone

*that morning*

*the first present*

(look like a daddy with his daughter)

*it's a card and cash that i want*

love ya

thanks for everything

*present from daddy*

*the birthday card make by my little sis*

*I got the gold key*

*i just wish it will be the key of freedom*

this is what i long for

I would like to thanks all my friends, family members, relatives for all the wishes

Love you all so much

Thanks to all of you who cherish me all the ways!

Last Day being 20

The feeling now is kinda weird
and hard to put it in words
This is totally different with
the last day of being 18 years old
something that i wish won't come true
what i long for is just gone like that
im sad of it
but its doesn't matter

After today,
everything gonna change
time never stop,
i should learn and change...

*make wishes*
- dream come true -

Big girl don't cry

don't wanna burst out in tears

don't wanna get hurt again

don't wanna fall for him

dont' wanna get lost

don't wanna sad

i believe

everything gonna be ok

soon

~Happy 21 years old~

Half awake

why don't i get fully drunk?
i wish im totally drunk
i wanna feel it
i wish to escape from thinking of him
some day,
i gonna get rid of you and your reflection out of my mind
the past memory would be erase permanently...
but for now,
im suffering like hell...
fucking pain in my heart!!!

*can't you see my heart is bleeding because of you?*

*tears drop right inside my heart*

*yet u can't feel it*

i'm drunk yet im so awake

what the hell in my mind

What's gonna happen next?

Forget & Forgive
wondering my ability on it
I don't want to be pestering in this matter
I really tired of it
I wanna get rid of it
get away from this
Am i able to forget everything?
It's gonna be a change after 10 days!

*qian is really tired*

First birthday celebration

29 October 2009 (thursday)

The first birthday celebration for 21 years old
Thanks to kien giap who treat me a lunch @ pasta de gohan
It might be too early to celebrate it
yet im happy with it...
I have a nice day & great conversation!
There are left few more days to go...
I get more and more nervous
Even though this year is not a wonderful year for me
I guess it will be great to have friends celebrate with me!
Looking forward on it...

有我有你也有他和她

已经决定的事
既然下了决心
就不该再改变主意

虽然我心仍有点不舍
心里有说不出的失落
我想这个决定
对我们会是最好的。

其实我还是会想念

开心的时候

希望他会好好过

献上我默默的祝福

21 - 10 - 2009

繁忙的日子
永无止境
两、三个星期
没有真正的休息
没有好好的睡觉
我真的很累
接着下来的日子
会更难熬
因为考试的来临
我对所有科目
一无所知
不得不加把劲的努力
不该让自己、任何人失望

昨天，
我终于可以好好的睡觉
充足的睡眠
让我精神变佳
心情也好转
我断断续续的睡了很久
睡觉是最幸福的事