The day before my last paper & birthday party

25 - 11 - 2009

Finally left one more to go -->> audit

I left one day to study and yet im busy with my party stuff

I don't have enough time to prepare and study!

I spend my day on other stuff in stead of study...

end up, i can't finish study my audit

Thanks to hong that teach me last minutes and also ur support...

i really wish i can pass!

my nail is nice with those nail art do by my cousin's gf...

thanks to her! like her so much...

After tomorrow, i gotta enjoys my life till the fullest!

there are more plans waiting for me...

Look forward to it!

ICBM

23 - 11 - 2009 Monday

This is another nightmare for me
I don't know how to do and struggling in exam hall
all the part b questions i do not know
we are required to choose 3 out of 4 questions
at the end, i just manage to finish one question
and that question i got no confidence at all
the rest i just leave blank without answering it
as my mind was totally blank at that moment
This time really can die and fail miserably
i have to get at least 45% out of 100% in order to pass the subject
i wonder how i gonna pass the paper that i just did 56%!
pray hard to pass!
i almost cry after exam!
no mood to continue study for next paper...
i'm really exhausted...

Nightmare

16 & 17 /11/2009

That night is really a nightmare for me
which i dare not to think back again
I been suffering like hell for the whole night
THE really almost kill me
Im glad that everything is over now!
everything back to normal
i can sleep and eat like normal
i do not vomit again and again
I can see the blue sky, feel the wind, breathe the air
this is the first time i can smile right after exam
even though i didn't manage to do well
Just hope that i able to get through & do not need to repeat again

thanks to those who help me, accompany me, advice me, comfort me, encourage me....

I'm officially 21

10 - 11 - 2009

Finally i'm 21 years old
a change from a girl to young adult
Im glad to receive all the greetings and wishes last night
I feel good when my phone keep ringing
kinda happy to see it
I been waiting his name to appear on my phone screen
I was disappointed when things doesn't turn out as i expect
I didn't know that i expected so much from him!
*emo-ing & crying for the first time on my birthday*
Luckily, i got hong who brighten up my day..
Thanks for lending me your ears
Thanks to hong for his birthday song through phone call
I'm happy to receive all the birthday wishes through sms, facebook and call...
My facebook wall is full with all the wishes for the first time

* 10 - 11 - 2009 *

as normal as usual

the day which is full of wishes
but

I do not have nice lunch

I don't have family dinner

I just can

faced my laptop

stay on my bed for the whole night

&

being alone

*that morning*

*the first present*

(look like a daddy with his daughter)

*it's a card and cash that i want*

love ya

thanks for everything

*present from daddy*

*the birthday card make by my little sis*

*I got the gold key*

*i just wish it will be the key of freedom*

this is what i long for

I would like to thanks all my friends, family members, relatives for all the wishes

Love you all so much

Thanks to all of you who cherish me all the ways!

Last Day being 20

The feeling now is kinda weird
and hard to put it in words
This is totally different with
the last day of being 18 years old
something that i wish won't come true
what i long for is just gone like that
im sad of it
but its doesn't matter

After today,
everything gonna change
time never stop,
i should learn and change...

*make wishes*
- dream come true -

Big girl don't cry

don't wanna burst out in tears

don't wanna get hurt again

don't wanna fall for him

dont' wanna get lost

don't wanna sad

i believe

everything gonna be ok

soon

~Happy 21 years old~

Half awake

why don't i get fully drunk?
i wish im totally drunk
i wanna feel it
i wish to escape from thinking of him
some day,
i gonna get rid of you and your reflection out of my mind
the past memory would be erase permanently...
but for now,
im suffering like hell...
fucking pain in my heart!!!

*can't you see my heart is bleeding because of you?*

*tears drop right inside my heart*

*yet u can't feel it*

i'm drunk yet im so awake

what the hell in my mind

What's gonna happen next?

Forget & Forgive
wondering my ability on it
I don't want to be pestering in this matter
I really tired of it
I wanna get rid of it
get away from this
Am i able to forget everything?
It's gonna be a change after 10 days!

*qian is really tired*

First birthday celebration

29 October 2009 (thursday)

The first birthday celebration for 21 years old
Thanks to kien giap who treat me a lunch @ pasta de gohan
It might be too early to celebrate it
yet im happy with it...
I have a nice day & great conversation!
There are left few more days to go...
I get more and more nervous
Even though this year is not a wonderful year for me
I guess it will be great to have friends celebrate with me!
Looking forward on it...

有我有你也有他和她

已经决定的事
既然下了决心
就不该再改变主意

虽然我心仍有点不舍
心里有说不出的失落
我想这个决定
对我们会是最好的。

其实我还是会想念

开心的时候

希望他会好好过

献上我默默的祝福

21 - 10 - 2009

繁忙的日子
永无止境
两、三个星期
没有真正的休息
没有好好的睡觉
我真的很累
接着下来的日子
会更难熬
因为考试的来临
我对所有科目
一无所知
不得不加把劲的努力
不该让自己、任何人失望

昨天，
我终于可以好好的睡觉
充足的睡眠
让我精神变佳
心情也好转
我断断续续的睡了很久
睡觉是最幸福的事

Debbi

My lovely debbi

*I miss debbi so much*

but i just cant take it out anymore!

First time

This is my first time to be treated like that in my life
i was kinda sad with it
and yet i just don't wish to raise it
and i just wanna keep it silent
i thought everything will be ok
but then at the end,
things that i doesn't want it to be happen
and it happen eventually.
I blame myself for getting out of control
My bad temper mess up everything
I was wondering and keep asking myself
why?
calm down girl,
i shouldnt angry, getting mad and cry....
I know i'm not allowed to cry
but the tears dropped itself
sighs..

im moody now
leave me alone and quietly.....

It's a bad day

I had a bad day
haiz...................
what to blame? who to blame?
no one and shouldn't be blaming anything or anyone
i was pretty sad
my mood spoil because of him
i just don't know why i will go mad on him
This guy really sucks....
and i really can't stand to his attitude towards me
i was wondering whether my request too high or
i can't understand him, or he is just too bad for me or
the way i think is immature?
Guess we have different point of view
For me, he really fail to fulfil
even just the very basic thing that a guy need to have............
*kinda disappointed*

I hate "sorry"
stop repeating it again and again
yet You don't know what's wrong with you
For me, "Sorry no cure"
I hate sorry..... lame....
don't ever say it again if you don't know what's wrong with you!

What's a bad day!
sad :(

Debbi

Suddenlly

i miss debbi so much...

*i want debbi*

forever in my heart

Never be replaced......

累

我累了，
我无法坚持了，
我是否撑得下去，
一个人的日子不好过，
我真的累了。

靠在他的肩旁，
真的好舒服，
这一刻
我轻松了许多，
我闭上眼睛，
偷偷的享受了
这一秒的无虑。

他的抱抱，
我很温暖，
受到他的疼爱
我很安慰
却一次又一次误以为是他人。

他的陪伴，
我不想令它成为一种习惯
不要一次又一次的依赖
我不想利用他
也不要把感情建立在彼此互相利用之间

我是否不该如此倔强

到底坚持着什么？

你我之间

好想让你知道
很希望让你了解
也明白我的感受
但我却无能为力
总是把事情复杂化。。。

找不回当天的心动

令我无法坚持下去

却自私的不想放手

14 - 10 - 2009

I was pretty sad and yet i dont know what's the reason
and i just feel like wanna cry

I cried because i always make people around me unhappy

im useless.....

I dont wish to see anyone of them getting sad because of me
keep me alone...

Think back about the past,
its really a pain for me,
which leave me a big scar right inside my heart,
a wound that never seems to be heal until now...

I feel so sorry to him,
I don't know what to say besides apologize,
i appreaciate his understanding...
Thanks You !

*~ the only thing i wish is to maintain everything in my life without any changes ~*

Beauty Expo

A tiring day for me
but i enjoy my day
today, i dress up nicely and put some light make up
I feel happy with it...
*excited to go beauty expo again*
i feel so lucky that got people accompany me go there
and help me to carry all the stuff & giving me some opinion
Happy to get all the stuff i want...
*overspending again*

A lot of things happen today!
This is my first time that i spending the whole night with people that i don't know
*with him and his fren which i don't know anyone of them...*
Erm... i think its ok for me.. but my tiredness make my mood gone
luckily he fetch me back home, if not i sure will get angry over him

a great day actually......

All of the sudden

im wondering
why all this happen in so sudden
i couldn't digest and accept any changes
i do not have any preparation for all this
i really scare... *i dont wish to hurt you and yet i know i might did that*
i confused... *i dont know what actually happen now*
i worried... *something that i dont wish to see it happen will eventually happen*
i blur... *blur - should i continue to be like this*
i stun...

I don't know why...
I don't understand...
I scare of making a wrong decision
what should i do now?
what i want? what you want? what he want?

2 + 10 = 12 - 10 - 2009

Happy mid-autumn festival

BBQ with family members

I really enjoys much today even though i feel tired...

*happy*

*~ Our hardwork ~*

the best celebration of mid-autumn festival i had

appreaciate it so much

Thanks for everything i had