All of the sudden

im wondering
why all this happen in so sudden
i couldn't digest and accept any changes
i do not have any preparation for all this
i really scare... *i dont wish to hurt you and yet i know i might did that*
i confused... *i dont know what actually happen now*
i worried... *something that i dont wish to see it happen will eventually happen*
i blur... *blur - should i continue to be like this*
i stun...

I don't know why...
I don't understand...
I scare of making a wrong decision
what should i do now?
what i want? what you want? what he want?

2 + 10 = 12 - 10 - 2009