helpless :'(

feeling so helpless now
im sad
speechless...
its all gone...
everything is gone like that...
My data, files, video & pictures all gone...
sighs...
nth i can do now...
*emo-ing*

Boring party

26 - 12 - 2009
The day after christmas
today is not a good day for me
*stomach pain like hell*
pity qian...

attended the celebration party of my uncle & aunt 70 years old
@ Hulu Yam
I not close with them also
kinda regret after i went there...
That place is really damn far...
took almost 2 hours to reach
0_0 so boring!!
the christian party is really not suit me at all
& i don't like it...
Also, i don't like the dinner and food there
not nice...

on the way to my relatives house

*sien*

0_0 boring

the only thing that i can do is take pic :)

White Christmas

Merry Christmas :)
First time i hang out with frens for christmas eve *hehe*
Usually i will just stay at home and sleep
this year, they plan everything for me
happy to stay with my *bef*
always the one i cherish
colour of the day = white - as white as the snow -

Always us

*bef*

*pic of the day*

everything is white for today

included my drink *hehe*

I like this pic as it looks funny

we had our dinner at VIVO

qian with two sweeties

ss-ing time
*damn boring & tired while waiting the clock hit 12am*

the high heels is killing me

group pic

- always us -
the perfect one...

Thanks for the day

reach home without jam

stay awake until 4am

2am - 3am

there is an abnormal guy

who called my hp for many times

I stun and just keep reject the call

luckily

i got my dear to help me to settle

that damn stupid feller

then

he dare not to call and disturb me anymore

The DAY is SAVED
Thanks to
~ My dear ~

Happy Winter Solstice

One of my favourite day in a year
kinda happy with it
as i can do & eat the rice ball
those adults always tell me that once you eat the rice ball
means you're getting one year older
I'm the one who eat alot each year
I like it so much.. hehe... :)
it's look so nice... taste sweet!
i miss the moments that i made the rice ball together with my grandma
I miss the moments that all of my family members gather at my grandma house
i miss those days that i cherish so much...

My sister & I do all these!!
-we were playing & trying to put the peanut inside-
thus, we did a huge 1 but doesn't look round enough

its cooked!! look nice with the bubbles ~~


*served*
the bowl of mine
I can't wait to eat it...
btw, the big one doesn't taste nice!!

*happily eating*
my mouth is full of all the rice ball
feel nice ^_^

-crying-

I was pretty sad today...
I feel like wanna cry out loudly and yet i can't let my tears drop. It was kinda hard to hold my tears as i know i shouldn't cry again and again. It's not worth for crying anymore.
As i thought time will able to heal the wound & everything will be fine if i just let it be. I did something wrong today which cause myself to suffer even more.
Everything is still the same, my pain, my heart & whatever.. the only things that change is him. I feel the pain, i feel the hurt & my heart is beating. The pain conquer me badly.. the scene appear in my mind repeatedly.
I suffer like hell...
Everyone is trying to help her & pull her out, but she is useless... she had been sitting at the place since she fell down without moving on. qian is useless... her stubborn costs her alot. till now only she realize and yet don't wanna admit that right inside her heart, she still don't give up on him. he is no longer worth for her tears...

*the scar will be there forever to remind me not to repeat the same mistake*

Sighs...

result out!
overall is ok but still unsatisfied with it...
kinda unhappy about it
lack of sleep
i feel so tired
no mood
gastric
whatever la...
everything just make my day gone...
~ joining bazaar today ~
to sell off all my mask
sighs...
something happen today
what the hell of all these...
I didn't know that the situation will go until like that
and i being so extreme & emo
no one will understand why i did that
im sick of explaining it
maybe im wrong to be so extreme
but you can't blame me for doing that
i have my own reason
i have my own thinking
i know im wrong which i didn't take care of people feeling
this is yiqian
thats why im a failure as a fren!

i had already said i might hurt someone else

im extreme

i express everything directly

i fail to be a good friend

like what you expected

Scary :'(

aiks...
im pretty scare & worry now
what to do?
argh...
i hope i can get through
yet i know i couldn't
*pray hard*
hope everyone can get through it
wondering whether i can accept it or not...

失败

我的生活一团槽
日夜颠倒，
吃不好，睡不安
受尽煎熬
不要这样的日子


我的课业一落千丈
难以补救
不上课，不听课
偷懒睡觉
令人失望


我的感情一塌糊涂
我爱的，伤害我
我不爱的，却烦着我
我觉得好累
事情总是那么的复杂

why?

These days
he seldom find me
talk with me also become less
i started feel like wanna talk with him
but he seems so busy and didn't find me
mb he do not care of me anymore
i hate myself for being so selfish
sighs...
before that, i treat him badly
now he ignore me then i feel not used to it
i don't know what to do!
*confusing*

李聖傑-你們要快樂KTV

i feel like crying after listen this song! kinda emo...

not everyone can understand the feeling...

*hug connie babe*

虽然故事情节不一样，

我不伟大

我无法给予真诚的祝福

我爱他

却接受不了失去他的事实

纵然他已不再属于我的！

Interview

*qianqian*

become big girl :)

today is my first time

I took ktm to KL central alone

&

my parents allowed me

to go for interview by myself

First time, i do not feel the fear to go alone

even though i don't know where the place actually located

supposedly is adrian who agree to guide me to the office

but since he was busy

then he pass it to loong

he called & told me patiently

really have to thanks him

argh...

i just couldn't control myself

each time so easy to 'fa pi qi'

sorry about that, loong

~one funny thing~

I got so panic until i fill up wrong thing

aiks...

its for office use & i go fill it up

kinda stupid

i feel so pai seh when the people told me

haha ^o^

My interview is successful

great job of me!

talk less, less mistake!

but my malay is poor

i didn't spoke well

keep er... em..

somemore i mix with english

funny weh *_*

yet

that people still said im potential candidate

& will inform me for training again!

sound good right!

*yeppi*

i got the job!

Really tired to wait for the train for so long

while waiting

take pic :)

*i had been waiting for half an hour*

- reach klang ktm station -
i took pic while im walking

*i had been waiting for 45mins at the station here*

*so tired*

today, i saw alot of scenes in ktm

one of it that catch my eyes is

there is a young guy which give his seat to an old man

he is so kind! wondering still got how many people will do this!

38 qian

Its been a long time that i didn't talk that much
- almost 2 and half hours -
what a relief for me
I laugh... as much as i could...
*hehe*
wondering when is the next time to hang out again!

i really abnormal

crazy & mad

38 all the ways

hehe

this is the way of me

i really need someone like you

to talk with me

Thanks for borrow me these 3 hours!

:)

Special dedication

I would like to dedicate this video to:
my dear connie, pinky & adrian, loong

Hey guys,

Thanks for giving so much!
Its mean alot to me...

Depression

serious depression :'(

I not feeling well...

its really very bad

its gonna kill me

11 - 12 - 2009 (Friday)

Lunch & movie with bef's gang

@ pyramid

I not really satisfy with the lunch

the restaurant not really nice

*i forget what's the name of the restaurant*

the tomato sauce sucks!

MY MOOD affected my appetite

*i guess so*

Later on we went for movie

ZOMBIE LAND

two words to describe the movie

*scary yet funny*

hehe :)

the Zombies are so disgusting

*scare scare*

After movie,

My dear connie came to meet & join us

I'm happy to meet her

so many things to talk to her

I just like her

mb because of 'yuan'

*whee*

3 of us bought the santa clause hat

nice nice ~~

plan to wear it and celebrate christmas together

we also decided to exchange christmas present

it's our first time

*excited*

I can't wait to celebrate together with you guys!

we went shopping

while we looking for poker chips

i spot something

argh!!

it's the model of the ship - thousand sunny & all the characters in one piece

it came in one whole set

damn nice & expensive

it costs RM120

but the people said out of stocks already

its very cute and nice

I like it... :)

I love one piece

I received a call

everything is happen so sudden

the news is really bad

I feel sorry to aaron!

My condolence to him

Hope everything is fine & ok for him

take care & be strong

It's make me think of my grandma

I miss her so much :/

The scene appear in my mind again

*full of regrets*

Since the plan at night had been cancel

then they decided to buy poker chips

and play together

again ~~ *hand itchy*

we went dinner together

@ Taipan

another restaurant for me to try

I don't know why i have no appetitie to eat

I feel full all the ways

*sighs*

I just don't know what happen on me again

already one week

think my sickness getting serious

i worried!!

my life is getting mess

I wish to have a healthy life

After dinner

it's poker time!!

but no shaun and the sheep

~~ hehe ~~

my phone keep ringing

parents rushing me home

haiz :(

i just don't like it

we play until 12am

i win RM23

*guess i got luck for today!*

Poker is really very interesting

*alots to learn*

able to gain skills & knowledge too

Reached home safely!

Thanks for adrian & loong sending me home

Nice outing again with u guys

There are More to go...

The DAY is SAVED

Thanks to

~ The Powepuff Girls ~

I'm sorry!

对不起！
我。。。
失去了自己
我。。。
要不回原有的蒨
我。。。
跌倒受伤了

对不起！
原谅
我的堕落
饶恕
我的软弱
包容
我的情绪
让我
得过且过

I feel the pain

受伤了
却没有把伤口好好的清理和治疗
就把伤口一层一层的覆盖着
不去理会它
日子一天一天的过去
原以为时间可以治疗一切
伤口会慢慢愈合
然而再次掀起的伤口
还是血淋淋地
一天比一天的更疼痛

Penang trip

This is the first time that i feel so rush for my trip

as i finish my last paper on the last day of exam

then i have my own party on that night

everything is kinda rush

i'm run out of time in preparing my stuff

the next day of party,

everyone in my house is busy

we were busy packing our stuff

*i feel guilty that i left my dad alone at home*

my elder sis had already confirm that she will go to germany & paris for training on saturday

my mum going back hometown on afternoon

and me gonna done my packing before 12pm and

alice pick me up at 12pm...

we went shopping after that

looking for present for arthur

& then attend his birthday party at night

- kinda emo for that day as my feeling for that day is so confused -

28 - 11 - 2009

Going penang ~~

we departure from KL around 11pm (kinda late)

today 3 of us (girls) are wearing red shirt & guys wearing black shirt

It can't be doubt that our privity is really very good!!

i enjoys the moments of having fun with u guys

its been a long time that I din have these fun conversations

& not many people i met able to talk like these

hehe~~

enjoys alots!!

The nights at penang were really fun

even though im tired & didn't sleep early

its ours poker time & shaun and the sheep

Now, i know how to play already but not pro yet..

I also drink for few nights... I feel ok with it

nice nice~~

Second day in penang

we woke up not that early

*guess this is the first time in my trip that i don't need to wake so early*

I had a very 'feng fu' breakfast!

3 of us ate chicken rice

the two girls who don't want to eat so much

then each of them give me half

OMG... i ate two rice for the first time!!

yet i able to swallow everything into my stomach! hehe

Feel so satisfy after so full :)

we went kek lok si after that...

the weather is damn hot

I sweat alots &

i feel like melting already

this is the first time i climb so high to visit the pagoda!

the view is nice...

*i pray hard to get through this sem*

hopefully my will will come true!

I found cute lollipop in one of the shop at kek lok si there

even though it is expensive but i decided to buy

its damn cute weh... 0_0

At night,

we went night market!

so many stuff over there

many of that is fake branded... haha

& also there are alots of cute stuff...

like it so much especially those fancy t-shirt

i bought some souvenir for my friends

- lemon ice blended with pearl -

its been a long time i din drink it... *since the day he leave*

3rd day in penang

to be continued...

*we'll always together*

*group pic*

dragon vs snake

*the big ship restaurant*

*babe sweeties in same outfits*

*memories that we create*

*remains forever*

*it's gonna be more & endless*

dear sweeties,

i will colour yours life with all i can

cheerish ya always!!

Happy dinner :)

06 - 12 - 2009

You guys make my day!

happy that met bak, aaron & rain

I'm happy to have such a nice dinner

* 3 in 1 steamboat *

which i long for many days ago

enjoys alots...

I feel satisfy and glad to have you all be with me

~ we have to stick together no matter what ~

*whee*

*bak become pro in cooking*

*he fried the meat for us*

*all the food*

nice nice :)

aaron busy eating all the food!!

after sometimes, we gather again...

such a nice moment!

i'll never walk alone

because i have you all being with me always

Thanks you :)

always with me

qian v lollipops

*little princess with her lollipop*


~ 21 lollipops are here ~


all my present :)

the sweetness of lollipop make me smiles!

am i deserve to get all the sweetness & happiness?

*lollipops taste sweet*

*colourful*

my heart is bitter & pain

lollipop is used to cover

the bitter & painful heart...